Waiting to Exhale

"Relax. You've spent so many hours in the pool training for this. Relax and breathe."

This was the monkey chatter in my head as I placed my face in the water for a quick lake swim on Saturday. Each workout has a purpose and my purpose for this day was to squelch my fear of getting back into the open water.

You see, my last open water swim took place in the mountains of Maryland at Deep Creek Lake during the Savage Man Triathlon in September 2010. The water was cold and I was so unprepared for the shock it would have on my body. When my face hit the water, my body wouldn't exhale my breath and I spent the entire 0.9 mile on my back. I periodically tried to flip over and put my face back in the water, but the result was the same. I was so disappointed .... told myself afterwards that I would NOT compete in another triathlon.

Yet, here I am, two years later, training for the longest endurance event of my life. I consider the swim my weakest discipline and in order to complete the first portion of the Kansas Half Ironman, I must stroke for 1.2 miles in the open water with no lane lines to keep me on track and no place to land my feet when I grow tired.

Saturday's sky was overcast and there was a breeze heavy enough to make the water a little choppy. Both were distractions that could derail me if I let the voices in my head take control. Not only have I been training my body for the last five months, I have also been training my mind to remain calm when I start to feel as if events are veering from the norm.

Only a few hundred yards for the day, but I stepped out of the water with a smile. Task accomplished.

Three days later I was back in a lake for another open water swim. Clear skies, no wind, taking place at the lake I will be racing this Sunday ... and 100 other triathletes. My purpose this time was to swim. Swim around the bouys. Swim and stay on course. Just swim.

I wouldn't consider Tuesday night's swim one of my best open water swims, but I was relaxed. I remained calm even as I swam into other swimmers, swam off course, and lost sight of land through my fogged goggles.

Yes, I am thrilled to announce the waiting is finally over. I am exhaling.