The voices had been quiet for a few weeks, but recently revealed themselves again ... louder than ever.
Friday night I had plans to ride for 75 minutes and attend a yoga session. I timed it perfectly so that I could ride at the bike shop (where I keep my bike set up on a trainer) and then walk a block down to the yoga studio. The people at the bike shop are great people. One strength (and albeit at times a hindrance) is that they are problem solvers. Passing through the shop, I mentioned that my computer wasn't picking up speed or cadence even though the battery was new. The owner willingly trudged down to the training area and fixed the issue. Forty-five minutes later, I finally saddled the bike. Ughhh the frustration. Either I wouldn't get the full training time in on my bike or I would have to forgo one of my two scheduled yoga sessions for the weekend. I decided I would continue on with my bike ride. At least now the computer was tracking my distance.
A Saturday morning to sleep in. That's all I wanted. In my wisdom, I decided I would grab some much needed extra sleep, postpone my swim until the afternoon, and replace it with a yoga class in the morning. Who needs to look at a schedule? Evidently I do. I grabbed an hour of extra sleep and spent the first hour of my day reading through emails and facebook. When I finally decided to get ready for yoga, I thought it might be a good idea to check the schedule and realized I had already missed class. Ughhh the frustration. Well, I might as well get my swimsuit on and complete my other workout for the day. This time I checked the pool website. Good to go.
Motivation was low as I trudged through the parking lot, trying desperately to convince myself this was going to be a great workout. I walked past the front desk attendant and scanned my card. In the locker room, I grabbed my swim cap and goggles and headed toward the swim deck. There I walked past the lifeguard to grab a kickboard and buoy. Picked out a lane and slid myself into the water with a cringe at the temperature. (I always cringe at the temp, doesn't matter how warm.) My workout for the day was a warmup of 200 yds, drill of 10 x 50 yds, swim of 2 x 700 yds and cool down of 200 yds. I completed my warmup and was in the 8th of my 10 x 50 when a different lifeguard approached me with the request that I exit the water within the next 10 minutes since there was a pool party about to take place. Ughhh the frustration.
The voices in my head had been dormant, but are back in full force, louder and more aggressive. They make me wonder if this challenge is too much for me to physically take on. They make me question whether or not the completion of the task will be worth my self-induced mental frustration. I am trying to counter attack with positive self-talk and refocusing on my goals.
No comments:
Post a Comment